Protecting Your Property

As you might have been able to tell by my looks, I am a very good hunter. This proves very handy when it comes to protecting my house and my humans.

Last Saturday morning I spotted a MASSIVE skink, a very common lizard in all of the Sydney neighborhoods. This individual looked like it had escaped from Jurassic Park, on its way to stomping my house along with my beloved pet humans! I had to act!

After a struggle that felt like at least five minutes, I finally managed to tackle the lizard, and dragged it inside to show the humans what could have been their killer. Unfortunately, the skink recovered, and I had to battle it again. This time it lost its tail, and with it, its special powers. I was the winner. I saved the day again.

"Accident"

This morning I accidentally jumped in a bathtub half full of water.

...to be honest, I did it just to get some cuddles!

Training Your Humans

I am definitely a human person. I like to hang out with them, talk to them, and sometimes even cuddle with them. (They're so soft!) Humans are a bit like dogs, they are very affectionate and aren't afraid to show their feelings towards me. Most humans I've met have told me that I am very handsome. They also say I bear a great resemblance to my famous uncle Garfield.

Anyway, my good relationship with my humans is the result of endless training that requires patience, understanding and passionate dedication.

The first lesson you should give your humans is showing them that you need your own personal space. In my house, I have claimed the undies drawer, the foot of the bed, the kitchen chairs and all existing boxes, bags and baskets as my own territory. For some this may sound quite harsh, but you can approach it this way: let your humans feel free to roam around the house as much as they want, just as long as your personal space is not interrupted. This way they get a feeling of freedom and free choice.

Don't worry if you have to repeat this first lesson a couple of times. In fact, I am still in progress with my humans. They seem to have trouble understanding that I have claimed the kitchen chairs for myself. Try not to use violence, that could just traumatize the humans, and lead to rebellious acts against you. Remember, your humans aren't as smart as you! You know what's best for them.

More training tips next time!

The Dangers of Exploring the World

As I said earlier, exploring is not a risk-free hobby. When you step outside, there's numerous dangers waiting for you: birds, cars, swimming pools...

In my opinion, the rewards of this hobby are worth the risks!

The complicated thing about the world is that not everything is what it looks like. To me, this doesn't look like a swimming pool. Or, maybe it does, but it doesn't look like it's full of water!
As a brave explorer, I decided to find out what's inside... (The following image might be too explicit for my younger readers.)

Turns out it really was water. If you do end up getting wet, you can ask your humans to provide you with warm, dry towels, a blow dryer and an oil heater. And remember, you can always learn from your experiences. I discovered that the swimming pools doubles as an excellent water bowl on a hot day. Just remember to keep your claws retracted.

Swimming pools are obviously dangers caused by humans and dogs. It is possible to train your humans to think more about you and your safety in your favourite hobby. In my case, I made it clear that I don't get along with the swimming pool, so my humans eventually emptied it. One of the ways of getting my message through to them was poking a couple of holes in the pool. It worked perfectly!

Next time I'll tell more about different ways to train your humans. It's very simple!

Exploring the World

I am an experienced explorer of the world. I spend most of my waking time exploring. I like places that not many tourists go to - the floor, under the sink, the pantry...

 Of course, there are more places to explore outside the house. It is also a lot more dangerous! I can write more about the dangers later. I recommend bringing a bodyguard with you if you are not sure about your safety. Accompanied by someone bigger than you, it's even safe to explore under the clotheslines.

My personal favourite to explore is all kinds of bags. Remember to be quick and make as little noise as possible! This way you get more time to discover what's inside the bag: groceries, fresh bed linen, sometimes even books!  

 The most important thing to remember is determination. With a convincing, serious expression on your face you can go anywhere! Maybe practice in front of the mirror before your next adventure.

Good luck!

My Family Tree

(Click to zoom in.)

A few months ago I hired a historian to find out about my family history. This is what she discovered. My grandparents, Garfunkel and Greta Katz were German.
My father Garfunkel II sailed to Australia on a container ship (shipping sauerkraut to the European population over here), while my uncle Garfield decided to seek fame and fortune in America. My only aunt, Snowball, passed away at the age of two days.

In Australia, my father met my mother, Agnes. They got married soon after Agnes found out she was expecting sextuplets! All of us were born healthy, but our parents couldn't support us, so we were given to foster families.

My brother, Leonard, and sister, Mabel, lived right next door to each other, but didn't know they were siblings. Mabel gave birth to my nephew, Esteban, who is 3 weeks old in the photo. Garfield has offered to bring him up in America, where there is more schools for special kittens.

It was interesting to learn all this about my family. I would like to find out whether there are any koalas or wombats in my mother's side of the family. That would explain some of my personality traits. (Sleeping 20 hours a day, easygoing nature.)

I have to admit, I look very handsome in the photo!

Has anyone else ever studied their family history? Any interesting stories?

Hello

This is my new blog!
My name is Garfunkel "Fatty" Cat.
I live in Glebe, Sydney, Australia.
My favourite things in the whole world are cardboard boxes.
When I'm not busy exploring the world, I like to sleep. I think it's a perfect hobby.
I don't like showers, baths, rain or swimming pools.

Oh, and yes, Garfield is my uncle. We're not that close.